Biting can be a big source of frustration for parents and caregivers of toddlers. Naturally, preventing toddler biting is the best solution, since most children between the ages 2-4 are not going to respond well to saying no or possibly even time out. (Though some children do respond well to time-out, it doesn’t work for every kid.)
Toddler biting is actually “normal” behavior, but of course this doesn’t make it any more acceptable by parents or day care centers. Toddlers are not able to really understand that when they bite it hurts someone – they actually reason that biting feels good to them, so it must feel good to the other person also.
Here are some tips for preventing toddler biting:
1. Identify the Cause of the Biting: It can be difficult to understand why your toddler is biting others, especially if he or she is in a day care setting when most of the biting takes place. If you can, ask if you can visit the daycare center to observe your child if they are the ones complaining the most about the biting. When at home or with other children, see if you can recognize any patterns. Is the child sleepy? Hungry? Seeking attention? Just saying “hi”? The more you observe your child, the more you will be able to see what is triggering the problem. Once you identify the triggers you will then be able to do things that would prevent the trigger from causing the toddler to bite.
2. Supervise Closely: When your child is playing with others or you think biting is likely to happen, be only a few inches away from your child so that if need be you can pull him or her away in time before he or she bites. You may also try putting your hand over his or her mouth gently yet firmly saying, “No, we don’t bite people.” Then quickly redirect the child to something else.
3. Demonstrate that Biting Hurts: For some kids, showing bite marks or someone crying can help them understand that biting hurts and that they shouldn’t do it. Naturally of course though there will be kids who understand it hurts but continue to do it anyway. While it’s tough to reason with a two or three year old, at least showing them what happens when they bite will help them eventually realize it’s not a good thing. If they do bite someone, make sure you have them apologize or give it a kiss to make it better. You may also consider using a stuffed animal or toy to demonstrate how biting hurts to them.
3. Redirect Them: The good thing about toddlers is they can sometimes be easily distracted (though just as easily fixated on something as well!) If you notice your child trying to bite someone, offer them something else to bite, such as a chew toy or a cracker. You could also try to get them to give kisses instead of bites. If you make kissing more fun, they may opt for that instead of biting.
4. Be Consistent: If you put a child in time out for biting one day, then just scold him another day, and the day after that remove them from the room for biting someone, you are likely just going to confuse the child and make the problem worse. Consistency is very important in toddler behavior – so whatever you decide to do be sure that you stick with it consistently for at least several weeks before trying a different technique.
If your toddler’s biting seems too difficult to handle, or you are experiencing additional problems with the child, don’t forget to speak to his or her pediatrician about it. They may be able to point you to toddler behavioral health specialists or offer additional practical advice on preventing toddler biting.