10 Tips of Positive Parenting Skills

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Parenting can be a tricky thing. Sometimes you think you know it all – and then in just another moment you will completely be questioning your parenting skills. Fortunately these tips of positive parenting skills can be a great help anytime you think you might be losing your cool.

First, one needs to answer the question: What are Positive Parenting Skills?

Positive parenting skills don’t mean you have to be super mom (or dad!) Instead it means to take a positive approach to parenting instead of a negative approach. It’s very easy for parents to fall into negative thinking traps – my kid’s always bad, he never listens, he won’t clean up…she is so mean! Often parents turn to negative methods of dealing with problems – time outs, taking away privileges, yelling, even spanking. The problem is negative attention is still attention, and in some cases kids can’t tell the difference between positive attention or negative attention, and by reacting negatively to your child’s behavior can actually make him or her behave worse!

Positive parenting skills instead involve looking on the positive side of things. Instead of thinking things like my kid is a total brat, you think things like “my kid is very independent”. Independence isn’t a bad thing – it just makes it very difficult for a parent to be able to tell a child what to do. Positive parenting also involves positive discipline – instead of reacting negatively when a child misbehaves, you instead over react positively when the child is good. If the child does misbehave, you simply ignore the child instead.

Now that we understand positive parenting, let’s take a look at a few tips of positive parenting skills we’ve collected:

1. Reward Good Behavior: It is easy to reward good behavior when you see your child doing something good or something you approve of. Sometimes saying “you really did such a great job” is just enough, for other kids making behavior charts and rewarding with stickers can be a good way to make your child feel proud. For older children, you can give him or her a special treat or privilege when they do something good. Rewarding good behavior is positive reinforcement to help them repeat the good behavior.

2. Ignore Bad Behavior: It’s hard as a parent to ignore bad behavior. However, for children who thrive on negative attention, losing it when they do something bad might actually be the response they are subconsciously seeking. While some behaviors won’t be able to be ignored for safety reasons (running out into a busy street for example) others such as temper tantrums or refusal to clean up toys can be ignored.

3. Be Involved: Parents are usually caught up with so many things, it can be easy to neglect your child’s emotional health in a quest just to make sure things like eating and bath time are accounted for. Take some time each day or week to do something together with your child. It can be as simple as watching a movie together, playing a game, or reading a book.

4. Give Kids a Chance to Talk: Kids often don’t have much say in anything. But if you give them a chance to talk you’ll be surprised by what they have to say. Instead of automatically judging them or saying “do this and that” you can ask open ended questions. Listen to what they are saying – are they tired? Scared? Nervous about something?

5. Give Your Child Control: Kids shouldn’t be in control. It’s a lot of responsibility that most kids cannot handle. But you can make them feel like they are in control by giving them choices. “You can take a bath before you watch tv or after you watch tv” or “would you like peas or carrots with dinner”, or “do you want a blue one or red one”. Giving kids choices works especially well with kids who often engage in power struggles with parents.

6. Stay Calm: When you’re a parent, its hard to stay calm all of the time. But it’s important you stay calm so you do not reinforce negative behavior. Sometimes counting to 10, locking yourself in a room until you calm down, or other stress relievers can help. Practice calming down techniques so that you can stay calm in any situation your child throws you in.

7. Be Patient: Being a positive parent won’t happen over night. There are chances that your positive parenting will all fly out the window on a few occasions. But if you continue to work at implementing these tips of positive parenting skills you can be more successful and see a difference of behavior in yourself and your child.

8. Set up a Routine: Having a routine can be great for kids. It gives them a sense of security and belonging, and it can also help you be a more organized parent. More organization typically means less stress, which means it much easier to remain positive in any situation.

9. Take a Break: Parents need to understand that they need time away from their children. Some parents may go weeks or months without spending more than an hour away from the kids. This can lead to a lot of frazzled nerves! Give yourself at least one “time-out” a week – and at least once a month do something that is truly nice for yourself that doesn’t involve the kids.

10. Teach Your Child Values: Children need to learn some basic values, and actually in Kindergarden classes they are becoming pretty important too. You will want to teach them things like sharing, consideration for others (how do you think that made him/her feel?), honesty, and any other values that are important to you and your family.

Now that you have these tips of positive parenting skills, you are well equipped to become a more positive parent! It takes some time, but you will start seeing a difference in your child’s behavior and your own mood if you continue to practice these skills. Have any other tips of positive parenting skills to share? Leave them in the comments below.